Tuesday, July 19, 2011

It's a Singer Family Vacation

Does it count as an aliyah update if I write about our trip to America?

Singer Family Vacation Rule #1:  If we are purchasing traveller's insurance, we like to get our money's worth. 

 So we made sure to squeeze in our first trip to Patient's First before Shabbat.  Suspected broken foot (but it wasn't).  3 days later, Abaye's doing fine (though we are the proud owners of yet another set of crutches.  Is that really something we should need to PURCHASE?  Anyone want them?)

Meanwhile, Shai is throwing up at Ben's house.  Or he was a few hours ago.  When I went to get him he was sleeping.   Frankly, he's probably better off over there in a house with 2 doctors.  I should send all the kids on over there.  I told Ben's mom that if I still lived here I would insist on taking home so he wouldn't throw up on her furniture, but that we are staying at the Dennens, so it's either her furniture or theirs.  For me it's kind of a wash (no pun intended).  But I was VERY happy to help move him from the leather couch to the blow-up plastic mattress with sheets.  

On my way over there, Rivital (who is staying at Jenny's) called to tell me that she forgot her toothbrush at the Dennens and her laptop charger at the (other) Singers.  I told her she will have to take a number.  Bless her maturing heart, she totally understood.  In fact, she sounded really concerned about Shai.  She said I can take care of her chaufeuring needs tomorrow.  (Aaron, wipe that smug "I told you you would need a car" grin off your face right now!!)  Oh, and Rabbi Wohlberg (if you're out there), thanks for letting us use the BT car!

Singer Family Rule #2: Never (and I mean NEVER) be prepared-- no matter what the damn boy scouts tell you!!

That's why, since I made sure to have our passports and tickets and boarding passes and teudot maavar (like Israeli passports), I arranged to have my drivers license expire.  I planned way advance, having it expire 3 months ago.  Meaning, I suddenly realized (literally on the last flight) that I've been driving around Israel without any kind of drivers license for the past 3 months.  (If you are an Israeli law enforcement professional, I'm just kidding).  

So I spent my first day here (after a good night's sleep) in the DMV (or whatever they're calling it these days).  And of course Laura, who arrived the night before from Eastern Europe, and who has nothing better to do (except take care of her 4 kids, write her PhD dissertation, prepare for teaching in the fall, and plan her upcoming JOFA scholars conference, not to mention preparing for Sunday's big Frank Family Sesame Place extravaganza) drove me there and waited with me.  Though I have to say, the wait was shockingly short, and they literally handed me my completed license as I was sitting there filling out the forms for it.  

So that segues us into Sesame Place, where wet fun was had by all.  We saw all the familiar sites-- The Duckie Slide, The Rambling River, Elmo's World, Abby Caddaby, and men sporting T-shirts with the F-word pushing double strollers.  Many of the clientele had clearly visited the Grover tattoo and piercing booth several times (though we never actually saw the booth itself).

Rivital was being so sweet with her cousin Julia that I wanted to do something special for them, so even though I knew it was going to be grossly overpriced, I told her to take Julia and I would pay for them to get hair wraps.  It was not until they were already wrapped that Rivital realized that this was going to cost...... 

are you ready?.............

Last chance to toss out your guesses.........



Rivital hadn't realized because they charged by the inch.  The cost was only $2.   Per inch....

The silver lining (which is actually huge) was that Tali handled it really well.  She came up to me and opened with "Now don't be mad."  She continued with "The wraps cost more than I realized, but don't worry.  I am going to pay for them myself."  I asked how much and she told me.  As I was scooping the bits of my jaw off of the street outside Hoover's Store, Tali reiterated not to worry because she was paying.  It seemed that she was mistaking my uncontrollable, uproarious laughter for anger.  Or perhaps psychosis.  I told her that I had said I would buy the wraps, and I would.  She said (I LOVE this part), "Thanks, but I really think I should pay for at least half!"  I was so impressed that I told her she should go back and get another one.  OK-- no I didn't.  But that would have made a great ending....

Singer Family Rule Number Three:  Take advantage of coed bathrooms.

The Dennens took Adin and me out to Maggie Moos (which if you can't figure it out, is an ice cream store).  All the kids (3 Dennen girls and Adin) have to go to the bathroom.  They are waiting and  waiting at the door.  It is locked and no one is coming out.  Finally, Lew is sure there is no one in there, and asks the girl who works there to unlock the door.  As she opens the door, before you can say "Maggie Moos" or even "Moo," all 4 kids have piled in, and with the door wide open and in full view of all the patrons, Adin has already started to pee.  And we are laughing so hard we can't breathe.  

I'm tired and out of rules, and I anticipate a long fast day tomorrow full of shlepping, so I had better run.  But if I think of any more, I'll let you know.  G'nite!



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